'Breaking The Forth Wall' & other stuff...

Hi again, everybody !!

It's November 1st & the start of the silly season, here in our part of the Universe !! I'll try & explain - but.... first the family !!

As I type, I'm home alone...... B has just left, to go over to the M & M's house.... 'tis Carnival night & ME wants to go, tho' her partner M... well, like me (I guess) he's not that bothered about it all !! So - he's staying in & the ladies are going to watch the floats go by...... good luck to them, I guess - it's not my idea of a fun night out !! "Humbug" and all of that kind of stuff !!

Anyhoo - I'm home alone & the heating is on.... with Archie, our youngest cat, keeping warm - curled up on the couch !! He hasn't been in, for very long.... so, he's probably catching up on his sleep... bless him !!

This morning, he was the only one in.... asleep, on our bedroom floor - keeping half an eye open, incase one of us made any kind of movement. Anyways - one of the other cats was outside, crying to come in.... so, I went down & opened the door. I was immediately run over by both of the tabbies, followed by Smudge, our oldest one !! Honestly - it was like a scene, out of a cartoon.... I open the door & cats come flying thru' the open space !!

I'm glad, that we only have cats... if 3 dogs had flown past me, in the way the cats did - I probably would of been sent head over heels & onto the floor !! Oh well - the joys of having pets, I guess !!

Going back, to yesterday.... I mentioned that there had been a car crash, at the bottom end of the village. I've checked our "local" newspaper's web site - but, details are kind of sketchy, about what happened. It seems there were 3 vehicles involved - and - apart from the regular ambulances - there were 2 air ambulances, taking the injured away, to hospital !!

To explain - there is a "by-pass" - which takes people around the main village. Unfortunately, it's a very fast bit of rood... where, from time to time, cars collide, when they either overtake, or - do not allow enough time, when pulling out of village junction.

There are 2 main junctions, into the village.... one has traffic lights, the other doesn't...... and, it's at the latter, where most of the crashes happen. People do not allow space, when they pull out, in front of on-coming cars etc etc - which, sometimes, can be going way over the speed limit !!

Since we've lived here - there have been people run over, while walking across the road - plus, like last year, car & bike crashes...... I say "like last year" - because a biker crashed and died, while I was actually in the hospital !! It's a very nasty bit of road - not helped by idiots, who think they know better & drive, or ride, beyond their means  !!

Good luck to all of them - hopefully all will survive !! It was obvious, that something "nasty" had happened, when we saw the helicopters flying in, for a landing !! Oh well....

As for this morning.... we were booked in, to the local surgery, for a "flu" injection.... to try & prevent any nastiness. Well - I've never been to keen on the things.... 2 reasons:

1) after the jab - I usually feel like crap !!
2) I don't like the way it's done !!

To explain, number 2....

You go in & they give you a form to fill out.... which I still have in my pocket. The form ask's all of these various questions - some of which, I find really none of anybody's business !! My form - actually has, across the bottom.... written by B "none of your business" !! That's how much I feel against the whole thing !!

But - the worst part is this.... I go down, for a flu shot & yet, I'm expected to go thru 3 different rooms, where you are quizzed about this, that & the other..... one of the rooms, is no more than the desk jockey - the lady who has no medical training and she is asking all these questions, for "their records" !! Isn't that what the Dr's are for ?!

Anyhoo - B went in first & I was called in a few minutes afterwards. I go into the first room & the lady says I "have to" have my blood pressure taken.... I told her, I was there for a flu shot, but... she was insisting I had to answer these bloody questions, sooooo - I walked out !! Had I not needed my hands, to hold my walking sticks, I probably would of put one finger up to her !!

Nobody tells me I "have to" do this, that or the other... it's my body, I'll decide what I do - not some cow, who basically doesn't know me, or - more importantly, who I don't know !! They obviously don't know me - or else they wouldn't tell me, what I "have to" do !! Screw that....

Last year, in the hospital, I actually refused treatment on one of the wards.... I had spent weeks, keeping my pick line (or whatever it's called) clean & away from bugs, only to find, as I came around from a surgery, that a lady was touching it, with-out any gloves one !! I was really pissed about that !!

I insisted they took all of my drips out & left me alone.... in the end, I was transferred to a different ward - but, once there, I told them very firmly, if they screw with me, I will do exactly the same thing..... In the end, they looked after me & I was more than happy !!

As I say - it's my body & my choice.... I don't care about anything else !! I really don't.... !!

As written about before - many, many times... I have a Vac-pump dressing, which is attached to my back wound. This is the 5th pump - we call it Colin - and, after all of these months.... I am really fed up, with having the bloody thing, going every where I have to go !!

Last night - or early this morning... Colin started playing up... sending off different alarms & just being a pain !! In the end - I went to the bathroom & disconnected the thing, threw it into the washing basket, with the dirty clothes & went back to bed !! It really is getting to the point, where I don't want the thing anymore - no matter how good, or bad, my wound is, while it's attached !!

Ok - it is doing me good.... but, I really am fed up with having it attached to me !! It's just a pain in the butt, to have to carry it everywhere I go !! Oh well..... life goes on.....

Going back, to last evening.... we didn't have any "trick or treat" kids around !! That was a first !! We think it was, probably, due to there being a big firework display, in town & the younger kids went to see that..... shame tho' - we had all this chocolate here, all ready for the little ones !! Maybe next year.....

As for the music of the moment... that's Dream Theater's 'Breaking The Fourth Wall' DVD. Being here, on my ownsome - I decided to give the thing a play, from start to finish. It's well good !! I must try & find out if there is a Cd release of the show..... Anyways, the tracks are:

Act One.

1) The Enemy Inside
2) The Shattered Fortress
3) On The Backs Of Angels
4) The Looking Glass
5) Trial Of Tears
6) Enigma Machine
7) Along For The Ride
8) Breaking All Illusions

Act Two.

1) The Mirror
2) Lie
3) Lifting Shadows Off A Dream
4) Scarred
5) Space Die Vest
6) Illumination Theory

Encore.

1) Scene Two: 1 Overture 1928
2) Scene Two: 2 Strange Deja Vu
3) Scene Seven: 1 The Dance Of Eternity
4) Scene Nine: Finally Free

Ok - I know 'Illumination Theory' has 5 little bits, but I couldn't be fussed, to list each & every one of them.... sorry about that !! I do like this DVD tho' - to me, in so many ways, it's better than their last concert release... 'Live At Luna Park'. I don't really know why, but..... for me, it's better - easier to listen to !!

I wrote a while back, about putting all of the extra speakers onto the system.... well, today it really worked brilliantly !! Thank's mainly to B - who had the idea of playing Within Temptation's 'Black Symphony' thru' the whole set up..... it was brilliant !!

If none of you know of Within Temptation - check them out..... their 'Black Symphony' DVD is a concert, with full orchestra, choir & extra guests - really good !! I'm glad B thought about playing it !!

Also, today - I found one of my Pink Floyd  SACD's.... this time around, their re-release of 'Dark Side Of The Moon'.... it played perfectly, with the 5.1 sound going around the room. B had a little moan at me, that I should of connected the speakers up before !!

For me - sure the whole 5.1 sound is good.... I just wanted the extra volume !! Ok - it's not extra volume..... but, it sounds sooooo much meatier, with the 12 inch bass speakers & everything !! Really good.... nice & loud !!

I have 2 40 watt speakers, under the computer table - I cannot tell you just how amazing they sound !! I agree with B - I should of connected everything up before !! Maybe, someday, I'll get my perfect sound system - whatever that might be !! I'm more than happy with what I have at the moment.... especially having the 100 watt docking station, for the Mini Egg - my iPod thingy !! Sooooo much sound, sooooo many Cd's & sooooo few brain cells, to take it all in with !! Life is good.....

Ok - it's November 1st..... and, I have no clue, as to what is going to happen over the coming months, or even over the next year !! As I keep moaning about.... this past 17+ months have been a heck of a time - in many, many ways, a trial.... trying to keep smiling, if not for myself - for those around me !!

I knew, last year, what I was getting into...... I say "I" - because, at that time, I got really fed up, with people saying "we" - when it was only myself, on my own, who was going to have surgery on my back, with all of the dangers that went with it.....

I was accused of making people lives shit... going on a "power" trip, or something like that. Well - nobody actually asked me, what I was feeling - people just seemed to think it was a "Family Affair" to quote the old song. maybe it was - but, nobody asked me, just how I was feeling !! My fears, my whole feeling of being scared, being frightened - if those are the right words (?) were expressed, in probably the only way I knew how !!

So, here I am - 17 months & 5 days, after I went into the hospital..... one day less, if you start counting, from the day of the surgery...... I'm still here, but, I really have had enough now, I really have !!

But - nevermind..... life goes on !! I might not know, what the next year will bring, in many ways, I don't really care - because, there is nothing I can do about it..... it's up to those - well, I was going to say "those around me" - but, whatever happens.... it's going to be decided by others...... I can do no more than flap my arms & hope the fall doesn't kill me !!

I thank you all, for taking the time, to log in & read my words... until next time...

Bye Bye