A lot of memories.... mostly good !!

So - Greetings World's !!

I always feel, that the day after St. George's Day, is a bit of an anti-climax !! For me, I have sooooo many, many memories of this day (April 24th) over the years, it's hard to remember which order they come in !! There is one day, that I will always remember - that April in 1986........ 29 years ago.

I had been up, for the whole night of April 23rd, not knowing what was going to happen next........ I had many choices. I could stay at home, maybe to get some sleep. I could go into town & book a ticket on an airplane. I could try & kill myself. But, I chose to get myself together & go to work. I chose the latter.... it seemed the right thing to do.

So, I drove the 12 miles to the farm & waited for everyone to leave our little communal area, where we all met up, before starting work...... I waited until all, but one, had left, my immediate boss. I had 'phoned him, the night before - when I had got home & found the situation I was in. I wanted to let him know that I, just maybe, might not be into work, the following day.

He was surprised & pleased that I made the effort & hadn't stayed home....... he knew my state of mind. As it was - I told him, that I hadn't heard anything & I went on & started work..... my mind wasn't on it, but.... it was the right thing to do.

I told one of the ladies - about the night before - and I knew she would tell the rest of the ladies..... so, in that respect, it was easier.... rather than having to tell each one - one at a time !! Bit by bit, as they heard the news & came up to me, to say sorry & giving me the odd hug. It was really nice to hear their words & feel their warmth.

Then, about 10am - my boss came running in & told me there was a 'phone call, so - I went to the office, to see what was going to happen.

It was my Wife...... well, my ex-Wife now. She was in Bermuda - and she told me, what I already knew - she wasn't coming home and - well, it was the end of our relationship. It was short conversation - there wasn't much to say really...... for some reason, her Mum told me that she was very "bitter", over what had happened, all very strange !!

My Ex had left our home, minutes after my leaving for work. She had then, with her Bastard Father's* help, gone up to Heathrow & had boarded a plane to Bermuda. All of this had happened, before I had left work - coming home, to an empty house & home.

From that day - April 23rd 1986 - until this day, I have never seen my ex-Wife again. I have spoken to her, only once more, 2 days after that first 'phone call - there wasn't much point in speaking to her again. At the time, it hurt like hell, but - over the years, I have forgiven her... but, as these words must point out, to all of you reading, I have never forgotten.

Of course - the one thing I've not written about... the fact, that she took with her, our 10 month old Son. From that day - in 1986, until over 20 years later, I never saw my Son again.... that's what really hurts, even to this day !! Our Marriage was over - but, taking our Son, with-out giving me the chance, to say "goodbye" - that hurt has never left me.....

Life has gone on & all of these years later, I have met My Wife & Dearest Friend - B - and we have two children - J our Son & ME our Daughter. I love them all so very much, I cannot truly put it all into words. My life has gone on & thru' all of the last 29 years, I have had my ups & downs..... but, I'm still here..... and no matter what has happened in the past, my life has gone on. I have a lot of memories, mostly good ones, I'm pleased to say !!

I have also made friends with some great people over the years & they have all helped, in one way or another, get me thru' all of the stuff that has gone on, in this old life of mine !! Most have dropped by the wayside, but at least one has stayed the course with me. So my thanks, to my "Little Sister" - for still hanging in there.... !!

"So, here I am once more"

It's a Friday & I'm home alone. B has gone into town, for a get together - some kind of carer's group thingy - then, if all goes well, she is going around to see ME. A bit later on, I have to go down to have my dressings changed..... but, that's not for a while !!

Going back two days - to Wednesday - I had to go down, to see the plastic surgeon, in the Exeter hospital. I'm pleased to say, from his stand point, I will not - at this stage - need anymore operations !! I'm well pleased about that - after 10 surgeries, in under 2 years - well.... I've had enough !!

I guess, if things go wrong & the whole wound thing gets infected again, things might need looking at, but, I'm hoping that won't happen.... I've really had enough with hospitals !!

So - after seeing one of my Consultant's last week & this Consultant, this week... things are really starting to look up !! I cannot tell you just how happy I feel about all of that !! Life is starting to get better... it really is !! I just need to get myself back to fighting fitness & we can start to enjoy our self's again !!

As for the music of the moment.... well, I'm listening to Within Temptation's Antwerp concert, from their 'Let It Burn' box set. The tracks are:

  1) Intro
  2) Iron
  3) In The Middle Of The Night
  4) Faster
  5) Fire & Ice
  6) Our Solemn Hour
  7) Stand My Ground
  8) Angels
  9) Sanctuary Intro
10) The Last Dance
11) Say My Name
12) Candles
13) Sinead
14) The Promise
15) Mother Earth
16) Ice Queen
17) Stairway To The Stars

It's funny - but, thinking about the last 29 years - I have come across sooooo much music, it's kind of un-real !! It's true - "Music helps the World go around" !! I'm not sure where that phrase came from - but, it has certainly helped my World, over all these years !!

Right - my plans for today.....

Well - I'm going to watch the 2nd part of Season 5 of 'Game Of Thrones'. I've kind of given up, with the whole "that didn't happen in the book" type of thing !! It's just a bit of fun, great TV - so, what the heck ? If it doesn't follow the books.... they are just as good, but.... Forget the exactness of the TV show, there are too many things, in the books, to transfer over to the small screen. Nevermind, I must away !!

I thank you all, for logging in & reading my words... from Australia, right thru' Asia, America, Europe & of course those of you in England. I find it very rewarding, to know you guys are "out there".... so,

With a quick - * He hated being reminded of this fact, but after he did what he did, I don't really give a shit !! He died in 2012 - but, he turned out to be a nasty piece of work !!

I must go... until next time....

Bye Bye